Mothers Day Roses 2013

I’ll have to admit, today was a bit difficult. Yes, it’s Mother’s Day and everything is supposed to be picture perfect. Most of you know my mother lives with us now after a bout of acute renal failure last summer. Her memory is not on target. She has difficulty making decisions. You’d never know this talking with her until after about 15 minutes when she begins to repeat herself or ask the same question she did 10 minutes ago. It is not my mother who made today difficult, just the situation.

It’s Mother’s Day, but so much is missing that used to be Mother’s Day. My mother swinging by for coffee before Mass, the traditional photo shoot with her outside the Church, lunch/brunch somewhere swanky, then a chat on the phone to wrap up the day. The mother I knew is missing. I am now my mother’s mother. Honored to be here for her, but I did not say this was easy!

 

Mama asked to go to the cemetery today just as she had for many years- without me. We took bouquets of luscious orangey roses wrapped in ivory satin ribbon for the graves of  Mama’s mother and  my aunt Chummy(daddy’s sister). Mama recalled that she and aunt Chummy were once very much like sisters. That could be unusual for sisters-in-law. Not for them, no matter what.

 

The cemetery broke me today. The visit was a shocking dose of reality that punched me hard. I started thinking about what it will be like when I am in my mother’s situation.  I am confident that my children will take good care of me, but will my nephews, cousins and garden buddies visit my grave with luscious orange-y roses? It is so easy to drive by the cemetery, but the drive in and the stop make it real.

 

I reflect on this day with some regret of torn relationships never to be repaired, yet replaced with  life long relationships like the one  mama and aunt Chummy once had. No matter what.

A sweet ending to the day with Marianna and Emma peeking in to mama’s room to give her a Mother’s Day card and huge hugs. Better than luscious orange-y roses.

Nite.

ML